If you are anything like my Vitality ladies, you may be a (recovering) perfectionist. Perfectionists have a tendency to be really hard on themselves and spend a lot of time beating themselves up. Do you relate to this? If so, I think you’ll gain a lot by reading today’s article.
The first thing I want you to do is think of a goal you are working on right now that you are “failing” at. With that goal in mind, I want you to answer these questions. It will empower you to turn your “failure” into valuable feedback that will assist you in creating success in the future.
Question #1: What is this experience teaching me right now? – Review all of the things that this “failure” has taught you up until this point. What didn’t you know before starting that you now do because of your experience? This will get your mind looking at your circumstances in a more positive light.
Question #2: What am I learning doesn’t work for me? – Review all of the things that haven’t worked for you up until this point. Instead of making yourself wrong for it, use it as feedback to tell you what doesn’t work for you. Thomas Edison “failed” 1,000-10,000 times (depending on what source you check) at creating the lightbulb. Do you know how he responded when the newspaper asked him how it felt to have failed that many times? He said that he didn’t fail, he just found a bunch of ways that a lightbulb didn’t work. With that feedback, he learned what did! What a mindset, right?
Question #3: What am I learning does work for me? – Maybe there are parts of what you are experiencing right now that is working really well for you. Define what those things are so you can use it to come up with a plan that will work to fulfill your dreams.
Question #4: When is a time that I have been really successful and accomplished something that made me really proud? – When you remember a time when you were successful, your energy raises and you’ll find it easier to believe in yourself. It’ll give you the confidence required to keep working through this harder period so you can come out the other side a success. Remember, there are a lot of things you have now mastered that were really hard for you previously. Recalling these things help give you confidence that you can figure this area of your life out, too.
Follow-up questions: How was my mindset different during that time versus now? How could I apply that mindset to this goal?
Question #5: What am I getting out of being unkind to myself? – A lot of the women I work with (myself included) were raised to be unkind to themselves as a motivation tactic to get things done. Unfortunately, shaming yourself is a terrible way to motivate yourself in the long-term. It depletes your energy and makes it really hard to take action.
Follow up question: Why am I choosing to be unkind to myself?
Question #6: What is one step I can take today to more kind to myself? – When you are kinder to yourself, especially when it comes to accomplishing your goals, you’ll find that reaching them is much easier. By taking action to be kinder to yourself today, you are ensuring that you don’t push it off to some other day. It’ll actually get done! And that means you’ll be that much closer to accomplishing your goal.
Follow-up question: What impact would being kinder to myself have?
Question #7: What valuable feedback am I learning from this experience/what positive message can I take away from it? – Now is the time to list all of the feedback that you are receiving from this experience of “failing” and turn it into a positive message. This helps shift your focus from beating yourself up to what you can take away from the experience. When your focus is in this better place, you’re bound to accomplish your goals more quickly.
Over time and with practice, turning your “failures” into feedback will just be a part of who you are/your mindset. Until then, you can use these 7 questions as a guide to turn your “failures” into feedback.
Now, over to you…do you struggle with feeling like a failure? How do you think that impacts your ability to accomplish your goals? What do you think would change in your life if you looked at your “failures” as feedback? I’d love to hear your answers in the comments below :)